Ancient Wisdom

Once a certain famous Fakir was claiming in the village that he could teach an illiterate person to read by a lightning technique. 'Nasrudin' stepped out of the crowd: 'Very well, teach me-now.' The Fakir touched the Mulla's forehead and said: 'Now go home immediately and read a book.' Half an hour later 'Nasrudin' was back in the marketplace, clutching a book. The Fakir had gone on his way. 'Yes, I can read-but that is not the point. Where is that charlatan?' 'How can he be a charlatan if he has caused you to read without learning?' 'Because this book, which is authoritative, says: "All Fakirs are frauds."

I shall have you hanged, 'said a cruel and ignoring king, who had heard of Nasrudin's powers, 'if you don't prove that you are a mystic. 'I see strange things, 'said Nasrudin at once; 'a golden bird in the sky, demons under the earth.' 'How can you see through solid objects? How can you see far into the sky?" "Fear is all you need" replied Mulla.

  A ship, on which the ' Mulla' was the only passenger, was caught in a typhoon. The captain and crew, having done all they could to save the ship, fell on their knees and started to pray for deliverance. The ' Mulla' stood calmly by. The captain opened his eyes, saw the ' Mulla' standing there, jumped up and cried: ‘Get down on your knees! You, a devout man, you should be praying with us. 'Nasrudin' did not move. T am only a passenger. Everything pertaining to the safety of this ship is your concern, not mine.’

' Nasrudin’s wife turned to him one morning: ‘Last night I dreamt that as I was preparing vegetables for a stew, the knife slipped and I cut my finger.’ ‘Tonight you had better sleep wearing gloves,’ replied the Mulla.

'Nasrudin' and his neighbor were comparing stories of financial ruin. ‘You may be poor, Mulla,’ said the other man, ‘but I owe so much that I shall be unable to repay the amount during my lifetime. My children will soon have to shoulder the burden of my debts and they, in turn, will be unable to pay. And so the debt will remain unpaid until the Angel of Death comes to rip my soul from me.’ ‘If I were you,’ suggested ' Nasiruddin', ‘I would stop repayments immediately and hope that the Angel of Death dies first.’

' Nasrudin’s donkey ran towards a pool to drink. The sides were very steep, and it was just about to over-balance and fall in when frogs began to croak loudly from the water.  This so frightened the ass that it reared up, and by this means was able to save itself.  ' Nasrudin ' threw a handful of money into the water, crying, ‘Frogs, you did me a good turn. Here is something for you to celebrate with.* 4

Once a lady brought her small son to the Mulla’s school. ‘He is very badly behaved,’ she explained, ‘and I want you to frighten him.’ The Mulla assumed a threatening posture, eyes flaming and face working. He jumped up and down, and suddenly ran out of the building. The woman fainted. When she had come to, she waited for the Mulla, who returned slowly and gravely. ‘I asked you to frighten the boy, not me!’ ‘Dear Madam,’ said the Mulla, ‘did you not see how afraid I was of myself as well ? When danger threatens, it threatens all alike.’

The Imam invited 'Nasrudin ' to supper, but ( when the Mulla arrived he found the table bare and the Imam eager to hear his own voice. For several hours, the spiritual leader told tales of prophets and miracles, kings and oppressors, until ' Nasrudin ' was practically fainting with hunger. ‘Excuse me,’ he said eventually. ‘You have a question?’ asked the Imam, hoping for some religious comment. ‘Only one,’ replied the ' Mulla' . ‘Did any of these people ever eat' -

One day the Mulla was taking a donkey-load of salt to market, and drove the ass through a stream. The salt was dissolved. The Mulla was angry at the loss of his load. The ass was frisky with relief. Next time he passed that way he had a load of wool. After the animal had passed through the stream, the wool was thoroughly soaked, and very heavy. The donkey staggered under the soggy load. ‘Ha!’ shouted the Mulla, ‘you thought you would get off lightly every time you went through water, didn’t you ?’ 

Nasrudin and his son were casting their lines when a sudden whirlwind darkened the horizon. “Oh merciful God,” Nasrudin implored, “save our fragile boat and I promise to gift a needy man with a camel as enormous as a house!” “Father, where will you find such a gigantic camel?” the son asked, puzzled. Nasrudin replied with a grin, “That’s a problem for when we’re safely ashore.”

To celebrate his birthday, ' Tamerlane ' presented each of his courtiers with a large box. As the advisers and nobility opened their presents, they found robes stitched with golden thread and set with precious gems. But when ' Nasrudin' , who had recently fallen from royal favor, unwrapped his gift he found an old donkey blanket inside. ‘Merciful Allah,’ he cried, ‘witness the generosity of Tamerlane', who has honored his servant with the coat off his own back.’

'Nasrudin' was out walking when a bee stung him on the nose. The wound began to swell alarmingly and he hurried off to see the doctor. As he crossed the bazaar, a wag pointed and laughed: "Where did you get that nose-from a donkey?" 'Yes' replied the ' Mulla' . 'When God divided the ass, he gave you the brain and me the nose."   [Source: The World Of Nasrudin by Idrees Shah]

  I have just had an extraordinary dream,’ Nasrudin told his wife one morning. ‘I dreamt that I met a merchant with four separate loads.’ ‘What did he have in his saddle-bags?’ ‘In the first he had persecution and in the second, fear. In the third, intolerance, and in the fourth, blindness.’ ‘And who were his clients?’ asked his wife, intrigued. ‘Oppressors, tyrants, Imams, and magistrates.’ [Source: The World Of Mulla Nasrudin, Idrees Shah]

Although he was supposed to be a wise and holy man, Nasrudin was accused of being almost illiterate. One day the ruler of his country decided to put this to the test. 'Write something for me, Nasrudin , 'said he. 'I would willingly do so, but I have taken an oath never to write so much as a single letter again,' said Nasrudin . 'Well, write something in the way in which you used to write before you decided not to write, so that I can see what it was like.' 'I cannot do that, because every time you write something your writing changes slightly through practices. If I wrote now, it would be something written for now.' 'Then bring me an example of his writing, anyone who has one,' ordered the ruler. Someone brought a terrible scrawl that the Mulla had once written to him. 'Is this your writings?'asked the Monarch. 'No,' said Nasrudin. 'Not only does writing change with time, but you are now showing a piece of writing done by me ...

'Nasurdin' was trotting his donkey in all directions one day. Someone asked him, "Where are you going, Nasrudin?" He said, "I am looking for my donkey!" 

  How are you getting on with that memory-training course you got by correspondence, 'Mulla'? 'I'm improving. Now I can sometimes remember that I have forgotten something.'

 A wizened sage, from beyond ' Ashsharg' , a far-off Eastern land, had arrived in the village. His philosophical expositions were so abstruse and yet so tantalising that the usual company in the tea house soon became convinced that he could perhaps unveil from the the mysteries of life. ' Nasrudin ' listened to him for a while. 'You know,' he said, 'I have had experiences something like yours on your travel. I, too, have been wandering teacher.' 'Tell me something about it, if you must,' said the elder, somewhat ruffled at the interruption. 'Oh, yes, I must, 'said the ' Mulla' . He continued: 'For instance, there was the trip which I took through Kurdistan. I was welcomed everywhere I went. I stayed at one monastery after another, where the dervishes listened eagerly to me. I was given free lodging at carvanserais , free food at tea houses. Everywhere the people were impressed by me.' The ancient monk was becoming impatien...

Nasrudin walked into the city of ' Konia ' for the first time. He was at once struck by the number of patisseries. His appetite sharpened, he went into one of these shops and started to devour a pie. Certain that he would get nothing out of this ragged apparition, the owner rushed at him and cuffed him. 'What kind of a town is this?' asked the 'Mulla'; ' a place where they hit a man as soon as he started eating.

' Nasrudin's donkey was stolen. He immediately went to the police. ' Mulla ' said the Chief of Police, 'this is serious. We will spare no effort to get your donkey back. After all, you are rather famous. Now begin at the beginning and tell me how it happened.' 'As I was not there when it happened, I can hardly tell you, can I?' said Nasrudin . 'Besides, it is not my business to know.'

'Mulla Nasrudin' supervised the building of his own tomb. At last, after one shortcoming after another had been righted, the mason came for his money. 'It is not right yet, builder,' said Mulla to builder. 'Whatever more can be done with it?' inquired the builder.  'We still have to supply the body' replied the Mulla .